10 January 2011

"Jersey Shore" Speaks: Back to the Shore

photo via mtv.com
As you know, I'm addicted to The Jersey Shore. You really never know how the dynamics in the house will change with every passing moment. What really makes the show must-see TV for me are the quotes. I don't know anyone who watches and doesn't repeat quotes from the show. Every week I used to read Vulture's Jersey Shore quotes recap, but they stopped doing that when they switched writers so I thought I'd do my own. Here's the best of Back to the Shore!

"I am so excited to get back into my house, pop some bottles, and hook up with my roommates." - Snooki (What make this great is that we all know how true this is ... especially the last part. Are you listening Vinny?)

"We started calling each other all the time, we hung out, we'd go to clubs, you know, go guy shopping." - Deena (Did she say guy shopping? I'm so using that from now on!)

"Pauly, adorable, you're gonna love him. You'll probably have sex with him. Just sayin." - Snooki to Deena (Snooki calls it like she sees it. Love this girl.)

"I can smell the fake tans and the hair gel already." - Ronnie (Umm, this one was actually kind of lame. It would have been funnier if this was Jersey Shore goes to Miami.)

"You never heard of a shower caddy dawg?" - Vinny (Umm ... still thinking 'bout that.)

photo via mtv.com
"I'm just like a walking holiday." - Deena (Girl's on a roll.)

"I'm a blast in a glass." - Deena (She really needs her own dictionary. I hope she's reading this. Must pass this along to her agent.)

"If Deena was a holiday she'd definitely be Thanksgiving because she's got a lot to give and she's down for a lot of stuffing." - Situation (Hah! I can't even right now!)

"When I see everyone drinking with me, it's like 'Hallelujah! Hallelujah!'" - Snooki (You know that's right.)

Vinny: "Did we ever lose at anything?"
Pauly: "No, good point."
(Gotta love V&P.)

"I swear if Vinny hooks up with this girl, done ties with Vinny! Done ties!" - Snooki (Wow, she really does love Vinny. Aww.)

Vinny: "I'm sorry I have a fuckin' penis."
Jenni: "Stick it in one of the jet holes and go to bed."
(Nice one Jenni! Snaps for you.)

"Cowboy hat is probably another term for Deena's cooka." - Pauly (Pauly, a.k.a. "the assertive one")

"You hit an in-the-house-homerun right now." - Situation (Yup.)

photo via mtv.com
"When Mike saw my na-na I was just like, 'Oh my God, like a day, really!' It took a day for someone to see my goods. I can't." - Deena (Poor Deena. Try to keep your eyes open hun, even with cherry vodka in your veins.)

Deena: "Have I done anything wrong being in this house?"
Vinny: "We've been here for like 5 hours."
(Vinny's totally the one to go to when you want to set up a joke.)

"That was very audacious of a rookie, or a veteran." - Situation (Did he just use audacious in a sentence? Go Sitch! And for those of you wondering, audacious is another way of saying bold/fearless.)

"I am putting you up for Rookie of the Year award. You are going for Rookie of the Year award. Not only were you butt naked on the first day ... " - Situation (This should totally happen if there's a reality show awards show. Deena FTW!)

"You don't want to piss off Deena like that because even though we're tiny bitches, I don't give a shit, I will fucking attack you like a squirrel monkey." - Snooki (Tell 'em Snooks!)

So much went down in this episode it was unbelievable! The standout for me was really Deena. With her catch phrases, nakedness, and fighting words, she totally made her mark in a matter of hours. I can't wait to see how the rest of this season plays out. Bring it! (Can you tell I'm excited?)

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