25 January 2011

"Jersey Shore" Speaks: Free Snooki

When we last left the Shore, Snooki was in the back of a cop car and Jenni and Deena were trying to figure out what the hell she was arrested for. Drunken indecency? Intoxication in public? Drunken public intoxication? No, no, and no. Basically she was dragged to jail for being a public nuisance. Snooki a public nuisance? Never!

If I had that bra on, I'd show it off too.
image via mtv.com

The latest ep of Jersey Shore was a bit light on the epic quotes, but there was tons of drama and comic relief to go around. I really don't know what this show would be without Pauly and Vinny. Amidst all the drama, they really bring the funny in every episode as you can see in the above photo. You have to read their Snooki/Jenni spoof below. Too funny! Here's the best of Free Snooki!

"I just hope that prison time has changed you girl." - Pauly D (That boy can make a joke out of anything.)

"The worst thing a parent can say to their child is, 'I'm not mad at you. I'm not upset with you, but I'm disappointed in you.'" - Snooki (Very true. No one wants to disappoint their parents.)

Snooki on the phone with her disappointed dad.
image via mtv.com

"It's kind of like a disease to snook for love. It's worst than a staph infection. It just keeps eating at you and eating at you and then when you don't find a guy, you just get more miserable and more depressed and it's just not a good time." - Snooki (Being miserable and depressed definitely doesn't sound like a good time. Poor Snooks.)

"These are the things I think I'm addicted to: bronzer, boys, and alcohol." - Snooki (Pretty sure I saw FB statuses with this quote over the weekend.)

"This guy definitely looks like Ronnie's stunt double. Deena could possibly be fulfilling some of her fantasies, deep down fantasies, for Ronnie by hooking up with the Ronnie look-a-like." - Sitch (Hmm, Sitch may have a point. Let's give Deena and Ronnie a bit too much RonRon juice and see what happens.)

MVP welcomes Dean with open arms.
image via mtv.com

Pauly: The sad thing is, like he'll be back with Sam tomorrow, right after this. You know?
Vinny: Yeah. How does she just like do that to Sammi?
P: I know, after they just made up. What do we do like, should we tell Sam?
V: Wait, I have an idea. Why don't we write an anonymous note.
P: Yeah! Oh my God, let's do it. We'll write it so they won't even think it's us. We'll write it politically correct, so bring a thesaurus. Dear Sam, Ronnie hooked up with Deena in the hot tub.
V: In lieu of ...
P: In lieu of, resulting in, ending up in the bed with you, for the most part. The third party.
V: You know what I mean.
P: You know what I mean.
V: But don't tell her we wrote it.
P: Oh I'm not gonna tell her bro. But she needs to know, it's girl code.
V: Okay booboo.
P: Will do booboo.
(Pauly and Vinny FTW! That was the best Snooki/Jenni spoof ever!)

Deena and her Ronnie look-a-like Dean. This is weird.
image via mtv.com

"He definitely didn't get the golden ticket, but you know, I gave him a sneak peak." - Deena (Golden ticket? Yay, Deena's dictionary is back!)

"I grew up in New England. How bad could I be really?" - Roger (Such a great line! My New England friends are totally using that one now.)

"That's why I'm leaving your ass. Douche." - Jenni (Now that's what you say as you give the middle finger to the phone in your hand.)

"Every time I get excited I have to poop." - Snooki (Is there an official term for this condition?)

"I prayed to the gods to have a nice juicehead gorilla and I finally got one. Thank you." - Snooki (See, prayer does work.)

Jenni (on the phone with Tom): "Just taking a breather."
Pauly (to the roommates): "I'll 'roger' that."
(Points for Pauly!)

Jenni argues with Tom on the phone.
image via mtv.com

As much as people hate on Jersey Shore, I thought the latest episode was really deep. There's Snooki coming to terms with her drinking. We have Jenni dealing with a relationship on its last leg while hoping a friendship can turn into more. Then we have Deena's faux-hawk obsession that could possibly be a subconscious Ronnie crush. Now tell me these storylines aren't relatable?

The only thing I took issue with this ep was the title. Free Snooki? This episode should have been called Free Jenni. I'm glad she split with Tom. What's his problem? Moving out of your girlfriend's house does not entitle you to leave her dogs locked up and steal her belongings! Can she have him arrested for that?

Poor Jenni. I'm glad Snooki was there for moral support.
image via mtv.com

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