15 January 2011

"Jersey Shore" Speaks: It's Gonna Be An Interesting Summer

Snooki in  a bush. This is going to be a VERY interesting summer.
photo via mtv.com
This week's Jersey Shore was full of ups and downs. I felt like I was on a roller coaster in Seaside. Like that analogy? This episode's full of them. Here's the best of It's Gonna Be An Interesting Summer!

"Good morning pimps!" - Situation (I expect Sitch to have an alarm clock that says "good morning pimp" by the end of the month. Wanna bet?)

"I mean if anyone can help these 2 crazy individuals, it be Sitch!" - Sitch ("It be Sitch." Really Sitch? You used audacious in the last episode. Don't take 3 steps back now like you're Ronnie dating Sammi. Zing!)

"She's probably Ronnie's backpack everywhere he goes in the club. She's a female backpack." - Deena (Female backpack? That's epic. Look at D already coining terms in your first week. Go girl!)

"Pauly, do you think the new girl's boobs are real or fake?" - Vinny (Umm ... see below photo.)

I think they're real Vinny.
photo via mtv.com
Vinny: "I personally like fake boobs."
Jenni: "Get them out of here."
(It's statements like Vinny's that make me glad I don't live with dudes.)

"We're in fucking Seaside bitch. Let's go to Karma!" - Snooki (Yeah! I'm not even in Seaside bitch and I want to go to Karma.)

Vinny: "It's t-shirt time, t-shirt time. Yo everybody it's t-shirt time. I made a rap."
Jenni: "Really Vinny?"
Vinny: "It's hard being this cool, you know."
(Don't crush Vin's hip hop dreams Jenni! It's better than Angelina's "rap.")

"This girl in the club is beyond stalker. She's a parasite and I'm the host." - Vinny (With analogies like that he could totally be a lawyer if this reality show star thing doesn't work out.)

Does she think stalking Vinny will get her somewhere? Really?
photo via mtv.com
"She's a blast! She's like a party in a body. Bring her home!" - Deena (D's a good wingwoman. Total opposite of Angelina.)

"He actually locked the door. And he did get a little selfish, you know. We could have shot straws. You know, rock, paper, scissors." - Sitch (When decisions need to be made, Sitch gets elementary to solve them.)

"This morning me and Ron get up and the first thing we want to do is go to church and try and release some sins that have been going on." - Sammi (In your gym clothes? Really? You put more effort into dressing for the club.)

"Let me tell you this, Deena is fucking crazy. I don't know, she's like an Energizer bunny, but her batteries don't die. My batteries die." - Snooki (Hmm, another good analogy. Vinny and Snooki are destined to have kids with amazing analogical skills. Don't pretend you didn't see them looking in each other's eyes when they were trying to rescue the ball on the roof.)

Deena grabs her boobs. Deena cooks. Yup, girl's got energy for days!
photo via mtv.com
"I was seriously a walking holiday last night." - Deena (I love this girl!)

"They will be reprimanded once they get home." - Sitch (Sitch used "reprimanded" and totally redeemed himself for his improper grammar earlier.)

"I was gonna lay out and drink." - Snooki (Choose your own adventure: lay out and drink or GTL? That's so Snooki's next book.)

"Filet mignin." - Pauly (Don't worry. Once Pauly and I start dating he'll know how to pronounce his meals properly. It'll be my gift to the world.)

"I'm down for the get down." - Deena (D get a clothing line please. I want that on a shirt!)

"Don't come in on Sunday with a big banana and expect everything to be peaches." - Pauly (You said it PD.)

Deena: "Pauly, can I have the whipped cream?"
Pauly: "You can have whatever you want girl. You're a party."
(I'm convinced he'll say that to me when I teach him how to say filet mignon properly. Don't shatter my dreams!)

"She's just there. She's like furniture." - Deena (D always describes Sammi perfectly. See below photo.)

Ronnie sitting on furniture next to "furniture."
photo via mtv.com
"You need to feed the machine before the machine can run. I'm worried about Situation getting some bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich. A little home fries on the side." - Sitch (He's totally my lifestyle guru. Right now I'm worried about me getting some bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich with some home fries on the side. Now who's making this for me?)

"I'm sick. I'm sick." - Sammi (Her words. Not mine.)

Deena was on a roll in this episode! I'm convinced she's starting to beat out Sitch for the best quotes. Do I sense some quotetastic tension between these two in the upcoming weeks? Hell yeah!

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